“One girl I met up with was on house arrest and ‘forgot’ to tell me.” via GIPHY 7. That’s cool, I thought, I can be friends with nice people that aren’t witty. A few weeks in, he told me I was almost perfect, except my upper arms were fat. “I had been texting this girl for a good three weeks, and we finally decided to go out on a date.“I met up with a girl who brought a binder full of laminated copies of her own poems, then asked me to read and critique them at the table.” 8. Then I found out that her nose ring is a weirdly shiny wart that she tries to pass off as a nose ring because she’s embarrassed by it. Without asking, she reached over and started picking toppings of my pizza. “I joined OKC four years ago hoping to hook up with a bunch of girls. I suggest we go to dinner and a movie at an Italian restaurant closer to her place so she can walk/bus, and I can do all the commuting.We decided to go get dinner, and she was even better in person.At the end of this date, we start making out, and she stops us before we get too far and says she’s not ready for that, which I respect.
You will inevitably run into an ex, or many, at one of the town’s three main bars. ’ He ignores me.”New women on the scene tend to be in town for weddings; new guys tend to be Marines, though they’re strictly nonmonogamous, due to a pervasive fear that — I shit you not — any woman who wants a relationship is angling for what’s known among locals as a “contract marriage,” an emotionless ploy to snare access to his good military salary and benefits.
“Downtown, there’s lots of friends with benefits,” says Paul, a 24-year-old sous chef.
“The women are, what’s the word, well-circulated.” John, a 24-year-old bartender, says that he’ll often have more than one waitress friend come by after her shift and ask if she can crash at his place downtown, and he’ll just sleep with the one who asks first.
That’s the feeling that rises up in my throat whenever anyone asks me the totally non-condescending question of why I’m still single, which I’ve answered so many times in so many tones (“Just haven't met the right guy, I guess! There was the guy who kept taking calls from a number he’d labeled “Happy Happy Fun Time,” which turned out to be his drug dealer.
I've met guys in bars, at parties, while snowboarding, through friends, and online via Ok Cupid, Match, Tinder, Hinge, Happn, Bumble, The League, How About We, Coffee Meets Bagel, and even Nerve.com, a site for “literary smut” that hosted online personals in that early-aughts dark age before smartphones.