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"And when I awoke, I was alone: this bird had flown." He wakes up and finds that she has left for work, so he gets up and lights a fire in the fireplace and has a cup of tea, contemplating what has happened the night before (the affair/affairs). (She invites him to her bedroom for crying out loud -they know what's going on - their drinking) She asks him to sit, but there is no chairs - she wants him to sit on the bed.He sits on the rug waiting for her to tell him to use the bed.The bird having flown is an allusion to the marijuana smoke having floated away, so he lights another joint.Also the line "she once had me" means "she had him at hello", as one might say, and also that she cheated or deceived him (to be had) -- he thought he was going to have sex with her.John had said, and I believe it's true, that he was speaking about all of the affairs he had that his wife didn't know about.I think he felt guilty and wanted to confess, but knew he could not, so he did the next best thing, wrote a song about it!"So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair." Being sarcastic/funny: "why did you tell me to sit, if you haven't got a chair?

I agree, this is about as straight-forward a little tale as could be." Personally, I would have called in sick; very poor judgement on her part! I don't think that he meant he was going to burn down the apartment, although if Paul mentioned the idea and said, "that would be just like you, John, if she turned you down, you'd burn down the place" I think John would like the triple meaning (1. Just because it is about an affair doesn't mean that he is describing any exact occurances (he is just releasing his thoughts about an affair) The song is about a guy and a girl who want to have sex but neither want to make the first move since its an affiar." I told her I didn't, and crawled off to sleep in the bath." He obviously does not have to get up and go to work in the morning, as he is John Lennon, and can go to work (or not), usually either later in the day, or whenever he feels like it, but he leaves the bed because he realizes she is saying she does not want him waking her to have sex again, as she has to get up soon for work. He says "the bath", like "the couch", or not with her. She drops hints (she asked him to stay)so he'll make the first move, but he holds out waiting for her to make the first move.As it is, the phrase indicates that the words "the fire" refer to a specific fire that the listener would already know about in this house or apartment, such as what would be in a fireplace.The Beetles did have a sardonic relationship with their fans, so Paul's sarcastic comment that it was about John torching the place of a girl refused him was clearly hyperbole about John's skill in bedding women. Someone who can essentially seduce anyone he wants isn't going to be so upset at a frustrating evening that he torches a woman's home for not putting out. What's really important is to listen to the lyrics as sung, not as assumed.